Essential Doula Resource: Five Wishes® Instructional Video
Why Every Adult Should Complete a Five Wishes Document
As end-of-life doulas, one of the greatest gifts we can offer individuals and families is the opportunity to have meaningful conversations before a crisis occurs. Planning ahead isn't about giving up hope—it is about ensuring that your wishes are known, your values are honored, and your loved ones are spared the burden of making difficult decisions without guidance.
One of my favorite resources is the Five Wishes document. It goes beyond a traditional advance directive by addressing not only your medical preferences but also your emotional, spiritual, and personal wishes.
What Is Five Wishes?
Five Wishes is an easy-to-understand advance care planning document that helps you express what matters most if you become seriously ill and cannot speak for yourself. It guides you through five important areas:
Wish 1: Who do you want to make healthcare decisions for you if you cannot?
Wish 2: What kind of medical treatment do you want—or not want?
Wish 3: How comfortable do you want to be? This includes pain management, comfort measures, and personal care.
Wish 4: How do you want people to treat you? This section addresses emotional, spiritual, and personal preferences, including who you want nearby, music you enjoy, and how you wish to spend your final days.
Wish 5: What do you want your loved ones to know? This is often the most meaningful section, allowing you to express love, forgiveness, gratitude, and final messages that become a lasting gift to your family.
A Helpful Instructional Video
If you're unsure how to complete the document, the Five Wishes instructional video walks you through each section step-by-step while answering many of the most common questions people have. https://youtu.be/pUl7LiktNjg?si=0twMvkUY8mKtleyn
The video is also an excellent resource for:
End-of-life doula education
Family meetings
Community presentations
Faith communities
Healthcare staff training
Employee wellness workshops
Caregiver support groups
Watching the video together often opens the door to conversations that families have been postponing for years.
Why Doulas Recommend Five Wishes
At the Blue Water Doula Collective, we believe advance care planning is one of the most compassionate acts of love we can offer ourselves and those we care about. Completing your Five Wishes document helps ensure your voice is heard, even if you cannot speak for yourself.
As doulas, we are honored to guide individuals and families through these conversations, answer questions, provide emotional support, and help create peace of mind.
Remember, completing Five Wishes is not just about preparing for death—it's about living with greater intention, reducing fear, and giving your loved ones the confidence that they are honoring your wishes.
Start the Conversation Today
Whether you're 25 or 85, healthy or living with a serious illness, now is the right time to complete your Five Wishes document.
Invite your spouse, parents, adult children, or close friends to complete theirs as well. These conversations are some of the most meaningful gifts you can give one another.
At the Blue Water Doula Collective, we encourage everyone to have these conversations early—because peace of mind begins long before the end of life.
